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September 10, 2017

The Atlantic

In session after session, I meet people who assure me, “I love my wife/my husband. We are best friends and happy together,” and then say: “But I am having an affair.” Why do people, even those in happy marriages, cheat? If we are to shed new light on one of our oldest behaviors, we need to examine it from all sides.

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September 9, 2017

Dear Sugars Podcast

A sexless relationship is often a symptom of deeper dysfunction. The Sugars, along with couples therapist Esther Perel, advise a letter writer whose loving partner is erotically absent. Listen to the 33 minute episode by clicking below.

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August 1, 2017

The New York Times

The Art of the Taboo Podcast Interview / The best podcast hosts leverage their personal investments and creative conversational tactics to tackle even the most taboo topics. Three podcasts — “Terrible, Thanks for Asking,” “Conversations With People Who Hate Me” and “Where Should We Begin?” — reveal new insights into how to talk about sex, death and hate.

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May 31, 2017

The New Yorker

Last Monday, Melania Trump was caught on camera flicking away her husband’s small hand as it reached for hers on the Tel Aviv tarmac. The swat seen round the world sent the Internet into a fit of speculation about the state of the First Union...

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May 19, 2017

The Tim Ferriss Show

In this episode, Esther and I explore: How to find (and convince) mentors who can change your life. What she's learned from Holocaust survivors. Polyamory and close cousins. Is there such a thing as too much honesty in relationships? Can we want what we already have? Why do happy people cheat? And much more.

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May 18, 2017

Vogue

If there’s such a thing as a celebrity couple’s therapist, it’s Esther Perel. The Belgian-born psychologist first earned recognition in 2006, when she published her book, Mating In Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, which explored how to sustain desire in a long-term relationship...

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May 18, 2017

Psychology Today

Until now, the only way to find out what really happens in a couples therapysession is to go to couples therapy with your partner. That is about to change...

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January 2017

1843 Magazine

Seth and his girlfriend of many years were already engaged when he discovered she had cheated on him. It was only once, with a co-worker, but the betrayal stung. “I had jealousy, insecurity, anger, fear,” he recalls. “It was really hard to talk about it.”...

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July 5, 2015

The New York Times

Is the classic postcoital question “Was it good for you, too?” outmoded? A recent conference would indicate yes. Last month, the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy held a symposium in New York called “Sex and Attachment: Coming Together.”...

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February 9, 2014

The New York Times

Not long ago, I was at a dinner party with several couples in their 40s, all married except for my boyfriend and me. The mood was jovial until, over dessert, one guest made an offhand joke about Internet porn...

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In The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, I take a look at modern relationships through the lens of infidelity. 

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