Moments with Esther Perel

Finding "The One"

Esther answers the age old question, sent in from a member of the community.

Esther unpacks the notion of "the One", as well as the concept of choice in a new dating landscape.

“How do I know when I’ve found The One?” – Austin, Baltimore, MD


This idea of finding “The One” is problematic for relationships. The paradox of choice creates a real sense of anxiety for people looking to find a long-term partner. The expectations of one person to satisfy all of our many emotional, physical, and spiritual needs is a tall order for one individual. 

Perhaps, instead of looking for a person who checks all the boxes, focus on a person with whom you can imagine yourself writing a story with that entails edits and revisions. As a reminder, there are no perfect stories. 

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