In the 20 years since its 2006 publication, Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel has become a global bestseller exploring the tension between love and desire in long-term relationships. Drawing on decades of therapy work, Perel examines why passion often fades even in loving partnerships and how intimacy doesn’t always guarantee sexual desire.The book asks key questions about sustaining erotic connection over time—such as why desire declines, whether familiarity kills passion, and how parenthood affects intimacy. This anniversary edition includes a new preface in which Perel reflects on cultural changes and her personal inspiration, while continuing to offer insights on keeping desire alive in committed relationships.
The State of Affairs by Esther Perel explores why infidelity happens—even in otherwise happy relationships—and why it is so emotionally devastating. Drawing on years of global clinical experience, Perel examines how affairs challenge modern expectations of love, commitment, and marriage.She uses real case studies to explore questions like why people cheat, whether monogamy can be “affair-proof,” and if it’s possible to love more than one person at once. Rather than viewing infidelity only as destruction, she also considers whether it can sometimes lead to growth or renewal in a relationship.Ultimately, the book offers a deeper understanding of betrayal and argues that affairs reveal important truths about desire, intimacy, and what people expect from long-term relationships.


