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Letters from Esther #2 - Security and Freedom

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is Security and Freedom.

5 Ways Comprehensive Sex Education Makes a Difference

Read more about how comprehensive sex education makes a difference in our lives, the lives of our children, and our society as a whole.

How to Find the Right Therapist For You

At the heart of therapy lies the relationship between the patient and the therapist, hence finding the right fit is key. Read my thoughts and tips to equip you with the tools to find the right therapist fit for you.

Letters from Esther #1 - Connection

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is Connection.

7 Verbs That Shape the Way You Love

It’s essential to understand and practice the basic verbs when learning a new language. The same goes for practicing how we love in our daily lives. Read more about the seven verbs that shape how you learned to love.

How to Fix the Fights You're Sick of Having

Esther writes about the fights that are all too common in our relationships.

Men, Women, and Sexuality: More Similar Than Different

In this installment, I'll try to break down some of the most persistent myths about male and female sexuality.

Let Go of Being the "Perfect Partner"

There is no such thing as the perfect partner. It’s time to give up the hope that you can be fault-free, put-together all the time, and just the right amount of independent in a relationship.

Intimacy and Your 5 Senses: How to Invite Eroticism into Your Relationship When You’re Feeling Depleted

Eroticism is fundamental to maintaining intimacy when couples are facing challenges, whether they are coming from inside of the relationship or from external stress in our lives. Read more about how to use the power of your senses to practice eroticism and increase intimacy when you’re feeling depleted.

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act in long-term relationships. It requires knowing your partner while recognizing their persistent mystery. Read more on the one simple question that reminds us to appreciate our partner’s otherness and what the four most common responses tell us.

Sexless Relationship? Take the First Step Toward Reconnection.

From physical challenges to breaches of trust to parenting exhaustion and beyond, there are so many reasons couples fall into a sexless relationship. Read more on how to shift your focus and take the first step toward intimate reconnection. A hint: it has nothing to do with frequency.

Sex? After Kids? - A Podcast with Dr. Becky

What happens when two become three, or four, or five? Who is responsible for the needs and wants of a couple when days are filled with playdates, pick-ups, and meal preps? Nights lack the erotic energy that couples need not only to survive but to thrive. Dr. Becky and Esther Perel come together to talk about what parents can do to rekindle their desires.

The Power of Apologizing: Relearn How to Say “I’m Sorry”

A strong, meaningful apology goes a long way in repairing major and minor rifts in any relationship. Intellectually, we know this. Apologizing is one of the first relationship skills we learn as young children. But it’s a skill that needs to grow with us. Read more on the power of apologizing and relearn how to say "I'm Sorry."

The 3 Types of Relationship Fights You Keep Having—And What To Do About Them

Your relationship arguments aren't always about what you think they are. Read more to learn about the three hidden dimensions under most relationship fights and how to break the loop.

Owning Your Part: Self-Accountability in Relationships

Relationship dynamics go beyond the binary of perpetrator and victim, powerful and powerless, betrayed and betrayer—the accountant and the accountable. Recognizing that all parties are a piece of the pie does not mean that everyone’s slice is the same size and made up of the same ingredients. But owning your part is essential to breaking through impasses. Read more about the practice of self-accountability in relationships.

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

“Relational Ambivalence” is the experience of contradictory thoughts and feelings—of love and hate, attraction and disgust, excitement and fear, contempt and envy—toward someone with whom we are in a relationship. It exists in every relational configuration, but we put a lot of pressure on romantic love, in particular, to rise above it. Read more on how ambivalence shows up in your romantic relationships and the common responses to it.

You can also browse articles, Letters from Esther, and Podcast Episodes in our “Focus On” sections, where we group resources based on important relational topics.