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The Value of Letter Writing

Letter writing allows for a deeply private space for reflection and, if appropriate for sending, potential communication. The trick is knowing the difference between what we should keep for only ourselves and what should be sent—and being able to manage what we open up in ourselves and in others if and when we decide to reach out. Read more on why letters are important to me and how to write your own.

Letters from Esther #7: The Art of Conversation

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is: The Art of Communication

Unsent Love Letters - Healing After Betrayal

In this Unsent Love Letter, the author writes to her partner of a year who’s been living a parallel life. We discuss the themes self-blame after a betrayal and the importance of social connection during a time of healing. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Unsent Love Letters - Young and In Love

In this Unsent Love Letter, the author writes to her high school sweetheart who called her out of the blue eight years later. We discuss the themes of paths not chosen and how reflections on past intimacies can be positive. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Unsent Love Letters - Love Across the Decades

In this Unsent Love Letter, a woman writes about a relationship that was unlikely to succeed, but after three decades it is still strong. We discuss the nuances of love across the decades and how breaking routine can bring energy back to a relationship. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Unsent Love Letters - Fantasy and Unrequited Love

In this Unsent Love Letter, a woman writes about a future she'll never have with a man she'll never be with. We discuss the themes of fantasy and unrequited love and the ritual of closure. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Unsent Love Letters - An Introduction

Welcome! Unsent Love Letters is a six-part series of real unsent love letters from people who wrote to a loved one, but in the end kept their words to themselves. Each article includes the original letter, a playful video discussion, and an exercise for those who resonate. Read more to get started.

Unsent Love Letters - Lingering Loss

In this Unsent Love Letter, the author writes to a former long-term partner who she hasn't seen for eight years. We discuss the themes of lingering loss and celebrating what once was. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Letters From Esther #29: New relationships are a part of life. So is ending them.

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: New Relationships.

Letters From Esther #28: I couldn’t listen anymore and I snapped.

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Listening.

Letters From Esther #27: Friendship

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Friendship.

Letters From Esther #26: The Great Adaptation

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: The Great Adaptation.

Letters from Esther #25: Eroticism in Hard Times

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Eroticism in Hard Times.

Letters From Esther #24: What Does “Single” Mean For You?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: What Does “Single” Mean For You?

Letters from Esther #23: Stories

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Stories.

Letters from Esther #22: Small Talk

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Small Talk.

Feeling Alone in a Relationship? You’re not alone.

Loneliness isn’t new, but it’s also no longer just about being socially isolated. Over the last decade, we’ve experienced a new type of loneliness—the loss of connection, trust, and capital while we are next to the person with whom we’re not supposed to be lonely. Read more about feeling alone in a relationship, how it's intensified in the midst of crisis, and what you can do to reconnect.

Infidelity: Why I Wrote a Book About America's Most Controversial Topic

I knew that writing my new book The State of Affairs would be met with strong reactions on all sides. So why step into the fire?

How to Fix the Fights You're Sick of Having

Esther writes about the fights that are all too common in our relationships.

Looking for the Perfect Fit? Pros & Cons of Relationship Checklists

Are your relationship checklists doing you more harm than good? Read more on how to make your relational pros and cons list work for you and when to loosen the grip.

4 Practices for Hopefulness in the New Year

Where does hope come from—and how do we practice it?‍ Read more on four practices for hopefulness in the new year, and beyond.

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

Vows that set a marriage up for success trade promises to do it all for intentions to do our best—especially in the hard times. Anyone who’s been married can tell you that, for all of the joy and love, there’s just as many fights and betrayals. The question is: how will we repair and grow stronger each time? Vows are an opportunity to address this very question. And, when done well, vows can be a compass to return to every time we lose our way. Read more on how to trade promises for intentions and a beautiful writing exercise for wedding vow drafts or as an ongoing activity do to throughout your marriage.

5 Ways to Start Conversations with Confidence

Small talk of all kinds is an unavoidable part of life. And, when done well, it can be a sweet, touching, and thrilling experience. It’s a bridge between your life and the lives of others. If you’re nervous about the idea of talking to a stranger—or an acquaintance or colleague that you haven’t seen in awhile—this guide is for you. Read more on how to start conversations with confidence.

What Does it Mean to be a Man?

A reader asks about how to handle his feelings of inadequacy after circumstances force him to become a stay-at-home dad.

You can also browse articles, Letters from Esther, and Podcast Episodes in our “Focus On” sections, where we group resources based on important relational topics.