Monthly Newsletter

Letters from Esther

Exclusive personal reflections from Esther on relevant relationship topics.

Important takeaways to help you develop your relational intelligence.

A curated list of related resources to further explore. 

Unsent Love Letters - Fantasy and Unrequited Love

In this Unsent Love Letter, a woman writes about a future she'll never have with a man she'll never be with. We discuss the themes of fantasy and unrequited love and the ritual of closure. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Unsent Love Letters - Love Across the Decades

In this Unsent Love Letter, a woman writes about a relationship that was unlikely to succeed, but after three decades it is still strong. We discuss the nuances of love across the decades and how breaking routine can bring energy back to a relationship. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Unsent Love Letters - Young and In Love

In this Unsent Love Letter, the author writes to her high school sweetheart who called her out of the blue eight years later. We discuss the themes of paths not chosen and how reflections on past intimacies can be positive. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Unsent Love Letters - Healing After Betrayal

In this Unsent Love Letter, the author writes to her partner of a year who’s been living a parallel life. We discuss the themes self-blame after a betrayal and the importance of social connection during a time of healing. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Why Eroticism Should Be Part of your Self-Care Plan

Self-care isn’t just about facemasks and mindfulness. It’s about tuning into our bodies and letting them teach us what we like, what we don’t like, and what we don’t know about ourselves yet. Read more about what it means to incorporate eroticism into your self-care plan and why it's important.

Letters from Esther #6 - Promises and Resolutions

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. In celebration of the new year, this month's theme is: Promises and Resolutions.

What Couples Therapy Can Teach Us About Conflict in the Workplace

There are hidden relationship dimensions at play underneath the majority of interpersonal issues, whether at home or at work. Read about the three dimensions I tend to focus on, what they mean, and how they can help you better understand and manage conflict in the workplace

Letters from Esther #5 - Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for your relational intelligence. This month's theme is: Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa.

Letters from Esther #1 - Connection

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is Connection.

Sex? After Kids? - A Podcast with Dr. Becky

What happens when two become three, or four, or five? Who is responsible for the needs and wants of a couple when days are filled with playdates, pick-ups, and meal preps? Nights lack the erotic energy that couples need not only to survive but to thrive. Dr. Becky and Esther Perel come together to talk about what parents can do to rekindle their desires.

Sexless Relationship? Take the First Step Toward Reconnection.

From physical challenges to breaches of trust to parenting exhaustion and beyond, there are so many reasons couples fall into a sexless relationship. Read more on how to shift your focus and take the first step toward intimate reconnection. A hint: it has nothing to do with frequency.

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act in long-term relationships. It requires knowing your partner while recognizing their persistent mystery. Read more on the one simple question that reminds us to appreciate our partner’s otherness and what the four most common responses tell us.

Intimacy and Your 5 Senses: How to Invite Eroticism into Your Relationship When You’re Feeling Depleted

Eroticism is fundamental to maintaining intimacy when couples are facing challenges, whether they are coming from inside of the relationship or from external stress in our lives. Read more about how to use the power of your senses to practice eroticism and increase intimacy when you’re feeling depleted.

Feeling Touch-Starved? How Our Sense of Touch Keeps Us Radically Connected to Ourselves

Our sense of touch is a powerful tool for self-care. Nothing can replace the touch from a loved one, but this period of distance from others gives us an opportunity to explore a type of physical intimacy we often neglect: that which lives inside of us. Read more about why self-touch is important for the relationship we have with ourselves and how it can help us through this moment in time.

Bringing Home the Erotic: 5 Ways to Create Meaningful Connections with Your Partner

Many of us, when it comes to sexuality, tend to do what we think we should do rather than what we’d like to be doing. We get stuck in ruts and disconnect from our imaginations. Read more about how to overcome your obstacles to desire and create meaningful connections with your partner.

Finding Freedom in What Feels Good: 3 Reasons to Embrace Foreplay

Contrary to popular assumptions, foreplay is so much more than just the physical suggestion that kick-starts sex. Let’s adjust the lens. Read more on three reasons to embrace foreplay as the freedom to experience what feels good, for no other goal than pure pleasure—from a quick warmup to lasting erotic energy.

How to Introduce Role Play Ideas To Your Partner

Role play and fantasy are playful opportunities to break routines and enhance excitement and pleasure in the bedroom. We all have imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious and to ask ourselves: what would it look and feel like to be intimate together in a different way? Read more on simple steps to help you introduce role play ideas to your partner.

Articles

Letters from Esther #65: Is love worth it?