Blog | Relationship Resources for Couples & Individuals

Letters From Esther #36: Fighting with your Partner about Values?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's focus is on clashing with your partner around values.

Finding Freedom in What Feels Good: 3 Reasons to Embrace Foreplay

Contrary to popular assumptions, foreplay is so much more than just the physical suggestion that kick-starts sex. Let’s adjust the lens. Read more on three reasons to embrace foreplay as the freedom to experience what feels good, for no other goal than pure pleasure—from a quick warmup to lasting erotic energy.

Letters from Esther #35: The Last Time I Felt Free…

Letters From Esther #34: How Are You?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

Vows that set a marriage up for success trade promises to do it all for intentions to do our best—especially in the hard times. Anyone who’s been married can tell you that, for all of the joy and love, there’s just as many fights and betrayals. The question is: how will we repair and grow stronger each time? Vows are an opportunity to address this very question. And, when done well, vows can be a compass to return to every time we lose our way. Read more on how to trade promises for intentions and a beautiful writing exercise for wedding vow drafts or as an ongoing activity do to throughout your marriage.

Letters From Esther #33: Making and Breaking Wedding Traditions

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

“Relational Ambivalence” is the experience of contradictory thoughts and feelings—of love and hate, attraction and disgust, excitement and fear, contempt and envy—toward someone with whom we are in a relationship. It exists in every relational configuration, but we put a lot of pressure on romantic love, in particular, to rise above it. Read more on how ambivalence shows up in your romantic relationships and the common responses to it.

Letters from Esther #32: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Letters from Esther #5 - Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for your relational intelligence. This month's theme is: Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa.

Letters from Esther #4 - Relationship Dynamics in the Workplace

My monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for your relational intelligence. In celebration of the release of my new podcast, How’s Work, this month's theme is: Relationship Dynamics in the Workplace

Letters from Esther #3 - Helping is Making Me Feel Helpless

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is: Helping is Making Me Feel Helpless.

Letters from Esther #2 - Security and Freedom

Letters from Esther #1 - Connection

Letters from Esther is my monthly newsletter to stay in touch and inspire reflection and action in areas that are important for our relational intelligence. This month's theme is Connection.

Intimacy and Your 5 Senses: How to Invite Eroticism into Your Relationship When You’re Feeling Depleted

Eroticism is fundamental to maintaining intimacy when couples are facing challenges, whether they are coming from inside of the relationship or from external stress in our lives. Read more about how to use the power of your senses to practice eroticism and increase intimacy when you’re feeling depleted.

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act in long-term relationships. It requires knowing your partner while recognizing their persistent mystery. Read more on the one simple question that reminds us to appreciate our partner’s otherness and what the four most common responses tell us.

Sexless Relationship? Take the First Step Toward Reconnection.

From physical challenges to breaches of trust to parenting exhaustion and beyond, there are so many reasons couples fall into a sexless relationship. Read more on how to shift your focus and take the first step toward intimate reconnection. A hint: it has nothing to do with frequency.

Sex? After Kids? - A Podcast with Dr. Becky

What happens when two become three, or four, or five? Who is responsible for the needs and wants of a couple when days are filled with playdates, pick-ups, and meal preps? Nights lack the erotic energy that couples need not only to survive but to thrive. Dr. Becky and Esther Perel come together to talk about what parents can do to rekindle their desires.

The Power of Apologizing: Relearn How to Say “I’m Sorry”

A strong, meaningful apology goes a long way in repairing major and minor rifts in any relationship. Intellectually, we know this. Apologizing is one of the first relationship skills we learn as young children. But it’s a skill that needs to grow with us. Read more on the power of apologizing and relearn how to say "I'm Sorry."

The 3 Types of Relationship Fights You Keep Having—And What To Do About Them

Your relationship arguments aren't always about what you think they are. Read more to learn about the three hidden dimensions under most relationship fights and how to break the loop.

Owning Your Part: Self-Accountability in Relationships

Relationship dynamics go beyond the binary of perpetrator and victim, powerful and powerless, betrayed and betrayer—the accountant and the accountable. Recognizing that all parties are a piece of the pie does not mean that everyone’s slice is the same size and made up of the same ingredients. But owning your part is essential to breaking through impasses. Read more about the practice of self-accountability in relationships.

Articles

Letters from Esther #61: The Art of Erotic Communication

Letters From Esther #36: Fighting with your Partner about Values?

Finding Freedom in What Feels Good: 3 Reasons to Embrace Foreplay

Letters from Esther #35: The Last Time I Felt Free…

Letters From Esther #34: How Are You?

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

Letters From Esther #33: Making and Breaking Wedding Traditions

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

Letters from Esther #32: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Letters from Esther #5 - Trauma, Poetry, and Elephants in South Africa

Letters from Esther #4 - Relationship Dynamics in the Workplace

Letters from Esther #3 - Helping is Making Me Feel Helpless

Letters from Esther #2 - Security and Freedom

Letters from Esther #1 - Connection

Intimacy and Your 5 Senses: How to Invite Eroticism into Your Relationship When You’re Feeling Depleted

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

Sexless Relationship? Take the First Step Toward Reconnection.

Sex? After Kids? - A Podcast with Dr. Becky

The Power of Apologizing: Relearn How to Say “I’m Sorry”

The 3 Types of Relationship Fights You Keep Having—And What To Do About Them

Owning Your Part: Self-Accountability in Relationships

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

You can also browse articles, Letters from Esther, and Podcast Episodes in our “Focus On” sections, where we group resources based on important relational topics.