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Our Comfort with Intimacy Has A Lot to do with These 7 Verbs

Love is an active verb. It’s imbued with intention and meaning and contains an implicit call to action. In the language of intimacy, basic fluency comes down to just seven verbs. The experiences that revolve around these shape our beliefs about ourselves and our expectations of others. Read more on the seven verbs of intimacy and how they help us to understand not just how we learned to love and be loved—but how we want to now.

Letters from Esther #31: Inviting Vulnerability

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Inviting Vulnerability.

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act in long-term relationships. It requires knowing your partner while recognizing their persistent mystery. Read more on the one simple question that reminds us to appreciate our partner’s otherness and what the four most common responses tell us.

Letters From Esther #30: Appreciating Otherness in Relationships

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Appreciating Otherness in Relationships.

The Other 3 Little Words: I Love You, But—What Are We?

Saying “I love you” has long been the ultimate marker of seriousness in the early months of romantic relationships. In the last few decades, however, the rise of the “situationship” has elongated the dating phase, elevating a different set of “three little words” to the pantheon of important relational dialogue. Read more on why discussing “What are we?” is an important part of creating a shared reality with healthy boundaries and expectations in a relationship. 

Letters From Esther #29: New relationships are a part of life. So is ending them.

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: New Relationships.

Six Essential Practices to Improve Listening Skills in Relationships

The way we listen shapes a conversation as much as the way we speak or respond. Nothing makes us feel more deeply connected than when we are engaged in a healthy balance of thoughtful speaking and hardcore listening. Read more on my six essential practices to improve listening in your relationships and learn to strike the delicate balance of receiving and reciprocating.

Letters From Esther #28: I couldn’t listen anymore and I snapped.

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Listening.

Letters from Esther #53: Novelty Is A Powerful Aphrodisiac. Here’s How To Have More.

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Letters from Esther #52: A Good Question Changes the Story

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Letters from Esther #51: Reading & Writing in a Time of War

Taking in snippets of current events through headlines, Tweets, and memes has a corrosive effect on the mind. The inundation of clipped information without context is overwhelming. The avalanche of epithets leaves you emotionally spinning. You think you’re in the loop; you know what’s going on; you’re up-to-date. But you begin to realize: you’re not actually processing the information. And that information—particularly the kind that is shocking and soul-crushing—doesn’t leave your system as quickly as it entered.

Letters from Esther #50: Could it really be that easy to resolve conflict?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is "Conflict."

Letters from Esther #49: What do you want to focus on more?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is "Focus."

Letters from Esther #48: "Why is it so hard to take a break?"

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month, we're looking at why it's so hard to take a break.

Letters From Esther #47: “Am I being gaslit by my partner?”

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme focuses on the term "gaslighting."

Letters from Esther #46: The Power of Chosen Family

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme focuses on the power of chosen family.

Rituals For Healthy Relationships At Every Stage

Routines and rituals have a lot in common, but what makes them different is the key to elevating our relationships. Read more about the importance of rituals for healthy relationships at every stage.

What You Don't Understand About Sexual Fantasies

This week, Esther explores what is meant by sexual fantasy.

Love in the Age of Cuba

Esther shares some insights from her recent trip to Cuba, and muses on her observations and learnings as far as relationships are concerned.

Breaking Free from Gender Expectations

Esther reflects on changes in expectations around gender in her response to a reader question.

Podcasting an Affair: Episode One

My reflections on Episode One of Where Should We Begin, entitled "I've Had Better".

How to Find the Right Therapist For You

At the heart of therapy lies the relationship between the patient and the therapist, hence finding the right fit is key. Read my thoughts and tips to equip you with the tools to find the right therapist fit for you.

Unsent Love Letters - Healing After Betrayal

In this Unsent Love Letter, the author writes to her partner of a year who’s been living a parallel life. We discuss the themes self-blame after a betrayal and the importance of social connection during a time of healing. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

A Man's Secret: Performance Anxiety

For many men, identity and self-esteem are bound up with sexuality. In this context performance anxiety can be extremely destabilizing. How then to deal with this common issue?

You can also browse articles, Letters from Esther, and Podcast Episodes in our “Focus On” sections, where we group resources based on important relational topics.