Blog | Relationship Resources for Couples & Individuals

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

Vows that set a marriage up for success trade promises to do it all for intentions to do our best—especially in the hard times. Anyone who’s been married can tell you that, for all of the joy and love, there’s just as many fights and betrayals. The question is: how will we repair and grow stronger each time? Vows are an opportunity to address this very question. And, when done well, vows can be a compass to return to every time we lose our way. Read more on how to trade promises for intentions and a beautiful writing exercise for wedding vow drafts or as an ongoing activity do to throughout your marriage.

Letters From Esther #33: Making and Breaking Wedding Traditions

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Making and Breaking Wedding Traditions.

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

“Relational Ambivalence” is the experience of contradictory thoughts and feelings—of love and hate, attraction and disgust, excitement and fear, contempt and envy—toward someone with whom we are in a relationship. It exists in every relational configuration, but we put a lot of pressure on romantic love, in particular, to rise above it. Read more on how ambivalence shows up in your romantic relationships and the common responses to it.

Letters from Esther #32: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Our Comfort with Intimacy Has A Lot to do with These 7 Verbs

Love is an active verb. It’s imbued with intention and meaning and contains an implicit call to action. In the language of intimacy, basic fluency comes down to just seven verbs. The experiences that revolve around these shape our beliefs about ourselves and our expectations of others. Read more on the seven verbs of intimacy and how they help us to understand not just how we learned to love and be loved—but how we want to now.

Letters from Esther #31: Inviting Vulnerability

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Inviting Vulnerability.

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act in long-term relationships. It requires knowing your partner while recognizing their persistent mystery. Read more on the one simple question that reminds us to appreciate our partner’s otherness and what the four most common responses tell us.

Letters From Esther #30: Appreciating Otherness in Relationships

Letters From Esther #41: A Practical New Year’s Resolution? Find Balance.

Looking for a more practical new year’s resolution? Find a balance between structures that ground and motivate us and guilt-free spontaneity which allows us to take risks, explore, and yes, occasionally overindulge in life’s pleasures. Read more on the importance of balancing structure and spontaneity in the new year.

Letters From Esther #40: Contemplating Hope

Letters From Esther #39: Thanksgiving & Belonging

Letters From Esther #38: How I Learned to do What I do

Letters From Esther #37: Eroticism is an Art. But It’s Also a Practice.

Letters From Esther #36: Fighting with your Partner about Values?

Letters from Esther #35: The Last Time I Felt Free…

Letters From Esther #34: How Are You?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Six Essential Practices to Improve Listening Skills in Relationships

The way we listen shapes a conversation as much as the way we speak or respond. Nothing makes us feel more deeply connected than when we are engaged in a healthy balance of thoughtful speaking and hardcore listening. Read more on my six essential practices to improve listening in your relationships and learn to strike the delicate balance of receiving and reciprocating.

Relationship Stress at a High? Try Spending Time With Friends

Our expectations of our partners have never been so high. When our primary relationship is experiencing high stress one of the best things we can do for ourselves and our partners is to take some of the pressure off. Read more on the importance of spending time with friends and how it serves as a reminder that we don’t live or love in a vacuum.

When Transitioning Between Stages of a Relationship, Practice Adaptability

Adaptability in couples is about responding to life’s changing circumstances with good communication and a lot of flexibility. Read more about why adaptability is an important element in helping couples navigate the different stages of a relationship.

Dating Advice for Turning a Spark into a Flame

What determines the success or disappointment of a first date? It's not all about the immediate spark. Read more to explore my dating advice that will point you away from playing games and toward creating authentic connections from the start.

5 Myths We Tell Ourselves When We’re Dating

There are very few set rules for dating, especially in the ever-evolving world of modern love. But no matter how much progress we make, we still carry outdated mythologies with us, often from relationship to relationship. Correcting those myths—such as "dating should lead to marriage" and "it's about finding the one"—starts here. Read more about 5 common myths we tell ourselves when we're dating and how to reframe them.

What Couples Therapy Can Teach Us About Conflict in the Workplace

There are hidden relationship dimensions at play underneath the majority of interpersonal issues, whether at home or at work. Read about the three dimensions I tend to focus on, what they mean, and how they can help you better understand and manage conflict in the workplace

The Language of Gender: Beyond Boy and Girl

Esther explores the importance of language in our experience of gender.

Unsent Love Letters - Lingering Loss

In this Unsent Love Letter, the author writes to a former long-term partner who she hasn't seen for eight years. We discuss the themes of lingering loss and celebrating what once was. Read more to hear what the letter holds.

Articles

Letters from Esther #65: Is love worth it?

Letters from Esther