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Letters from Esther #61: The Art of Erotic Communication
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Letters from Esther #60: Reconnect to Your Erotic Self
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Letters from Esther #59: “Nobody’s f*cking anymore.”
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LETTERS FROM ESTHER
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Finding "The One"

Does "the One" exist? And what does this phrase mean in the context of a new dating reality, with all of the choice and lack of certainty it presents?

Valentineusall: Three Suggestions to Elevate Your Valentine’s Day​

This Valentine's Day, why not start a new tradition?

Why Modern Love is So Damn Hard

This week, I write to you about the expectations that can derail our relationships. Starting with the wedding vow.

Podcasting an Affair: Episode One

My reflections on Episode One of Where Should We Begin, entitled "I've Had Better".

Infidelity: Why I Wrote a Book About America's Most Controversial Topic

I knew that writing my new book The State of Affairs would be met with strong reactions on all sides. So why step into the fire?

Relationship Accountability

Rejection has always been a part of the relationship landscape. But are the new trends of ghosting, icing and simmering increasing our acceptance of ambiguous ends?

How to be Assertive Without Being Aggressive

Power dynamics and what it means to be in control has changed over time. In today's social context, how can we navigate the line between dialogue and debate?

The Language of Gender: Beyond Boy and Girl

Esther explores the importance of language in our experience of gender.

Letters From Esther #45: The Question that Comes Up in All New Adult Friendships

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme focuses on the question that comes up in all new adult friendships.

Letters from Esther #44: What does repair look like in relationships?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme sheds light on repairing after bickering or conflict in your relationship.

Letters from Esther #43: “Would you rather be right or be married?”

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme offers a look inside my office as I help a couple navigate a common couple argument.

Letters From Esther #42: My Worst Valentine’s Day

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's focus is on using the month of love as a step in nurturing your relationship.

Letters From Esther #41: A Practical New Year’s Resolution? Find Balance.

Looking for a more practical new year’s resolution? Find a balance between structures that ground and motivate us and guilt-free spontaneity which allows us to take risks, explore, and yes, occasionally overindulge in life’s pleasures. Read more on the importance of balancing structure and spontaneity in the new year.

Letters From Esther #40: Contemplating Hope

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme: Contemplating Hope.

Letters From Esther #39: Thanksgiving & Belonging

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Thanksgiving and Belonging.

Letters From Esther #38: How I Learned to do What I do

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's topic is centered on a commonly asked question: How did I learn to do what I do?

Intimacy and Your 5 Senses: How to Invite Eroticism into Your Relationship When You’re Feeling Depleted

Eroticism is fundamental to maintaining intimacy when couples are facing challenges, whether they are coming from inside of the relationship or from external stress in our lives. Read more about how to use the power of your senses to practice eroticism and increase intimacy when you’re feeling depleted.

In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?

Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act in long-term relationships. It requires knowing your partner while recognizing their persistent mystery. Read more on the one simple question that reminds us to appreciate our partner’s otherness and what the four most common responses tell us.

Sexless Relationship? Take the First Step Toward Reconnection.

From physical challenges to breaches of trust to parenting exhaustion and beyond, there are so many reasons couples fall into a sexless relationship. Read more on how to shift your focus and take the first step toward intimate reconnection. A hint: it has nothing to do with frequency.

Sex? After Kids? - A Podcast with Dr. Becky

What happens when two become three, or four, or five? Who is responsible for the needs and wants of a couple when days are filled with playdates, pick-ups, and meal preps? Nights lack the erotic energy that couples need not only to survive but to thrive. Dr. Becky and Esther Perel come together to talk about what parents can do to rekindle their desires.

The Power of Apologizing: Relearn How to Say “I’m Sorry”

A strong, meaningful apology goes a long way in repairing major and minor rifts in any relationship. Intellectually, we know this. Apologizing is one of the first relationship skills we learn as young children. But it’s a skill that needs to grow with us. Read more on the power of apologizing and relearn how to say "I'm Sorry."

The 3 Types of Relationship Fights You Keep Having—And What To Do About Them

Your relationship arguments aren't always about what you think they are. Read more to learn about the three hidden dimensions under most relationship fights and how to break the loop.

Owning Your Part: Self-Accountability in Relationships

Relationship dynamics go beyond the binary of perpetrator and victim, powerful and powerless, betrayed and betrayer—the accountant and the accountable. Recognizing that all parties are a piece of the pie does not mean that everyone’s slice is the same size and made up of the same ingredients. But owning your part is essential to breaking through impasses. Read more about the practice of self-accountability in relationships.

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

“Relational Ambivalence” is the experience of contradictory thoughts and feelings—of love and hate, attraction and disgust, excitement and fear, contempt and envy—toward someone with whom we are in a relationship. It exists in every relational configuration, but we put a lot of pressure on romantic love, in particular, to rise above it. Read more on how ambivalence shows up in your romantic relationships and the common responses to it.

You can also browse articles, Letters from Esther, and Podcast Episodes in our “Focus On” sections, where we group resources based on important relational topics.

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