Blog | Relationship Resources for Couples & Individuals

Letters From Esther #36: Fighting with your Partner about Values?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's focus is on clashing with your partner around values.

Finding Freedom in What Feels Good: 3 Reasons to Embrace Foreplay

Contrary to popular assumptions, foreplay is so much more than just the physical suggestion that kick-starts sex. Let’s adjust the lens. Read more on three reasons to embrace foreplay as the freedom to experience what feels good, for no other goal than pure pleasure—from a quick warmup to lasting erotic energy.

Letters from Esther #35: The Last Time I Felt Free…

Letters From Esther #34: How Are You?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

Vows that set a marriage up for success trade promises to do it all for intentions to do our best—especially in the hard times. Anyone who’s been married can tell you that, for all of the joy and love, there’s just as many fights and betrayals. The question is: how will we repair and grow stronger each time? Vows are an opportunity to address this very question. And, when done well, vows can be a compass to return to every time we lose our way. Read more on how to trade promises for intentions and a beautiful writing exercise for wedding vow drafts or as an ongoing activity do to throughout your marriage.

Letters From Esther #33: Making and Breaking Wedding Traditions

The Myth of Unconditional Love in Romantic Relationships

“Relational Ambivalence” is the experience of contradictory thoughts and feelings—of love and hate, attraction and disgust, excitement and fear, contempt and envy—toward someone with whom we are in a relationship. It exists in every relational configuration, but we put a lot of pressure on romantic love, in particular, to rise above it. Read more on how ambivalence shows up in your romantic relationships and the common responses to it.

Letters from Esther #32: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Letters From Esther #45: The Question that Comes Up in All New Adult Friendships

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme focuses on the question that comes up in all new adult friendships.

Letters from Esther #44: What does repair look like in relationships?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme sheds light on repairing after bickering or conflict in your relationship.

Letters from Esther #43: “Would you rather be right or be married?”

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme offers a look inside my office as I help a couple navigate a common couple argument.

Letters From Esther #42: My Worst Valentine’s Day

Letters From Esther #41: A Practical New Year’s Resolution? Find Balance.

Looking for a more practical new year’s resolution? Find a balance between structures that ground and motivate us and guilt-free spontaneity which allows us to take risks, explore, and yes, occasionally overindulge in life’s pleasures. Read more on the importance of balancing structure and spontaneity in the new year.

Letters From Esther #40: Contemplating Hope

Letters From Esther #39: Thanksgiving & Belonging

Letters From Esther #38: How I Learned to do What I do

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's topic is centered on a commonly asked question: How did I learn to do what I do?

What Is This Feeling? Anticipatory Grief and Other New Pandemic-Related Emotions

The unprecedented crisis caused by the novel coronavirus has left us with a set of unfamiliar emotions. Read more to learn about these new emotions you may be experiencing and what to do about them.

Arguing about Money Again? Understanding Financial Tension in Relationships

Talking about money is no easy feat. But, it is an opportunity to understand the deeper beliefs and vulnerabilities it represents in your relationships and to grow your partnerships. Read more about why tensions in your relationship arise around finances and the money questions you can ask to start an open conversation.

Coping With Loneliness Around The Holidays

Feeling lonely around the holidays can make us feel as if something is wrong with us. Everybody else seems to know how to be happy, how to be together, how to be festive, merry, and bright. But feeling lonely around the winter holidays is extremely common. Read more about coping with loneliness around the holidays and some resources to help you face it.

When Their Turn On Is Your Turn Off

In this weeks post, Esther explores what to do when fantasies aren't shared.

A Look Inside Couples Therapy: How a Podcast Turned into a Global Mental Health Resource

Hearing others’ experiences can help us with our own. Read more about how Where Should Begin? came to be and what you can gain from listening to the stories and struggles of other couples.

The Value of Letter Writing

Letter writing allows for a deeply private space for reflection and, if appropriate for sending, potential communication. The trick is knowing the difference between what we should keep for only ourselves and what should be sent—and being able to manage what we open up in ourselves and in others if and when we decide to reach out. Read more on why letters are important to me and how to write your own.

Fight Smarter: Avoid the Most Common Argument Patterns

Esther talks about conflict patterns and how to fight smarter in her latest installment of "A Moment with Esther Perel".

Men, Women, and Sexuality: More Similar Than Different

In this installment, I'll try to break down some of the most persistent myths about male and female sexuality.

Articles

Letters from Esther #61: The Art of Erotic Communication