Articles

Letters from Esther #65: Is love worth it?

Letters from Esther #64: Searching for Connection in a Disconnected Era

Letters from Esther #63: New Year, New Possibilities

Monthly Newsletter

Letters from Esther

Exclusive personal reflections from Esther on relevant relationship topics.

Important takeaways to help you develop your relational intelligence.

A curated list of related resources to further explore. 

Intimacy and Your 5 Senses: How to Invite Eroticism into Your Relationship When You’re Feeling Depleted

Eroticism is fundamental to maintaining intimacy when couples are facing challenges, whether they are coming from inside of the relationship or from external stress in our lives. Read more about how to use the power of your senses to practice eroticism and increase intimacy when you’re feeling depleted.

Letters from Esther #25: Eroticism in Hard Times

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Eroticism in Hard Times.

Dating Advice for Turning a Spark into a Flame

What determines the success or disappointment of a first date? It's not all about the immediate spark. Read more to explore my dating advice that will point you away from playing games and toward creating authentic connections from the start.

Letters From Esther #24: What Does “Single” Mean For You?

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: What Does “Single” Mean For You?

5 Myths We Tell Ourselves When We’re Dating

There are very few set rules for dating, especially in the ever-evolving world of modern love. But no matter how much progress we make, we still carry outdated mythologies with us, often from relationship to relationship. Correcting those myths—such as "dating should lead to marriage" and "it's about finding the one"—starts here. Read more about 5 common myths we tell ourselves when we're dating and how to reframe them.

Letters from Esther #23: Stories

My monthly newsletter and workshop are meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Stories.

5 Ways to Start Conversations with Confidence

Small talk of all kinds is an unavoidable part of life. And, when done well, it can be a sweet, touching, and thrilling experience. It’s a bridge between your life and the lives of others. If you’re nervous about the idea of talking to a stranger—or an acquaintance or colleague that you haven’t seen in awhile—this guide is for you. Read more on how to start conversations with confidence.

Letters from Esther #22: Small Talk

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Small Talk.

Letters from Esther #65: Is love worth it?

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Letters from Esther #64: Searching for Connection in a Disconnected Era

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Letters from Esther #63: New Year, New Possibilities

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Letters from Esther #62: How do you connect to others?

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Letters from Esther #61: The Art of Erotic Communication

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Letters from Esther #60: Reconnect to Your Erotic Self

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Letters from Esther #59: “Nobody’s f*cking anymore.”

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Letters from Esther #58: Introducing The Arc of Love

My monthly newsletter is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships.

Feeling Alone in a Relationship? You’re not alone.

Loneliness isn’t new, but it’s also no longer just about being socially isolated. Over the last decade, we’ve experienced a new type of loneliness—the loss of connection, trust, and capital while we are next to the person with whom we’re not supposed to be lonely. Read more about feeling alone in a relationship, how it's intensified in the midst of crisis, and what you can do to reconnect.

Infidelity: Why I Wrote a Book About America's Most Controversial Topic

I knew that writing my new book The State of Affairs would be met with strong reactions on all sides. So why step into the fire?

How to Fix the Fights You're Sick of Having

Esther writes about the fights that are all too common in our relationships.

Looking for the Perfect Fit? Pros & Cons of Relationship Checklists

Are your relationship checklists doing you more harm than good? Read more on how to make your relational pros and cons list work for you and when to loosen the grip.

4 Practices for Hopefulness in the New Year

Where does hope come from—and how do we practice it?‍ Read more on four practices for hopefulness in the new year, and beyond.

How to Write Wedding Vows That Set Your Marriage Up For Success

Vows that set a marriage up for success trade promises to do it all for intentions to do our best—especially in the hard times. Anyone who’s been married can tell you that, for all of the joy and love, there’s just as many fights and betrayals. The question is: how will we repair and grow stronger each time? Vows are an opportunity to address this very question. And, when done well, vows can be a compass to return to every time we lose our way. Read more on how to trade promises for intentions and a beautiful writing exercise for wedding vow drafts or as an ongoing activity do to throughout your marriage.

Our Comfort with Intimacy Has A Lot to do with These 7 Verbs

Love is an active verb. It’s imbued with intention and meaning and contains an implicit call to action. In the language of intimacy, basic fluency comes down to just seven verbs. The experiences that revolve around these shape our beliefs about ourselves and our expectations of others. Read more on the seven verbs of intimacy and how they help us to understand not just how we learned to love and be loved—but how we want to now.

The Other 3 Little Words: I Love You, But—What Are We?

Saying “I love you” has long been the ultimate marker of seriousness in the early months of romantic relationships. In the last few decades, however, the rise of the “situationship” has elongated the dating phase, elevating a different set of “three little words” to the pantheon of important relational dialogue. Read more on why discussing “What are we?” is an important part of creating a shared reality with healthy boundaries and expectations in a relationship.

You can also browse articles, Letters from Esther, and Podcast Episodes in our “Focus On” sections, where we group resources based on important relational topics.

Communication and Connection

Security vs. Freedom

Intimate Relationships